WHEELING - Fatherhood is a commitment that men must make 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
It's a challenge many dads are meeting in various ways these days, as the concept of the "modern dad" becomes ever more popular the notion that fathers are just as responsible as mothers for the everyday nurturing of their children.
For example, "modern dads" cook, clean house and play chauffeur for their children. The term "stay-at-home" dad is one that was not often heard a generation ago. Many dads with careers still find themselves more involved on a day-to-day basis in their children's lives. It's the recognition that a father's connections to his children go well beyond the biological.
Article Photos
Photo by Ian Hicks
Walt Saunders and his children, from left, Hannah, 11, Laral, 9, Kailynn, 5, and Ronnie, 7, relax on the porch of their Bethlehem home.
Some local dads say just being there for their children and staying involved in their daily routine makes all the difference.
Walt Saunders lives in Bethlehem with his four children - Hannah, 11, Laral, 9, Ronnie, 7, and Kailynn, 5. He is a single father and assistant principal at Warwood Middle School. Saunders will take over as head principal at Triadelphia Middle School in the fall.
When asked how he manages to balance a career with staying involved with his children, he said, "I don't know. It just a commitment ... to put them first."
Fathers are taking more of an interest than ever in their children's education, according to the National Center for Fathering and National Parent Teacher Association. Saunders said he likes to think that his status as an educator translates to a higher level of involvement in his children's schooling.
"But I am definitely more involved when I get home," he said, noting that his children will not attend Triadelphia Middle School, where he will be principal.
"I don't think I'd wish that on them," he said, adding that distinction could lead to teasing from classmates.
Another local family demonstrates daily that the bond between a father and his children doesn't end when children reach adulthood.
Jay Adams of Wheeling, who has three grown sons Chad, also of Wheeling; Jamie, who lives with his wife Erin in Fairfax, Va.; and Jason, who recently graduated from Princeton University agrees that commitment is the key.
"Family comes before your career always," he said.
Jay Adams said that's never been a difficult rule for him to follow.
"I've been blessed with three people who are not only my sons but my best friends," he said. "We have a respect for each other, and we can talk openly with each other and express ourselves."
Chad Adams, who lives only a few streets from Jay, said his relationship with his father has been immeasurably important.
"Dad is someone that you lean on for a lot of different things. It's important to have trust and open lines of communication."
For Saunders, being a single father and equally sharing custody with the mother of his children has presented a unique challenge.
"The time without them is certainly much more difficult than the time with them," he said, adding it can be hard to go from being the center of their needs to them not being around.
Beyond that, finding time to spend individually with each of his four children can be a challenge, he said. He is a coach on his son's baseball team, and his two eldest daughters also play softball. He makes sure to attend all their games, usually with the entire family in tow.
Saunders is confident the time he spends with them will pay dividends.
"I believe that the more time I put in with them, the better off they'll be in the long run," he said.
As the father of adult sons, Jay Adams has seen the benefits that committing to be a good father can provide. He said he maintains a strong relationship with all three sons on a daily basis, even though they've grown up and begun lives of their own.
"We talk on the phone every day, about everything and nothing," Chad Adams said of his father. Jay noted that not a day goes by that he doesn't communicate in some way with each of his sons, and he added that they communicate amongst themselves on a regular basis. He recalled his son Jason's recent graduation from Princeton, which Chad and Jamie both attended.
Chad said he wants to pass on the lessons he learned from his father now that he has children of his own a son Ashton, 4, a daughter Savannah, 2, and another baby girl due to arrive in August. As a coach of his son's soccer team and a regular helper with his hockey program, Chad appears to have a good start in following in his dad's footsteps.
"My relationship with my dad has completely influenced the dad that I am today," he said. "The neat thing is, our family is a team. We're a unit."
Jay Adams said leading by example is the key, paraphrasing a quote he'd heard before, though he was unsure of its source: "The most important thing a father can do is show his kids how much he loves their mother," he recalled, adding, "That's the deal, right there."
Jay and Chad said the common bonds of soccer, faith and Chad's children have been very important in allowing them to continue fostering their relationship.
"Spending time with one another becomes either a priority or a non-priority," Jay said. "There can be a lot of distractions TV, the Internet but you can put them down at the end of the day."
Saunders said being a father has many rewards, remarking that it "means the world" to him when he receives a compliment about one of his children.
"It shows that the trials and tribulations of my life are starting to pay dividends. When they do something well, it's an accomplishment for me," he said.